i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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