Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
