Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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