at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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