is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
