Already got asked if we're dating
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
