Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
