Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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