Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sorry about my life...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
