She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
