It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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