guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
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Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
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Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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