Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
