I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
