Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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