i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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