i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
