I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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