whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
