either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
