This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
