Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
