this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
