when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
