so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
as a side note pls kill me
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