franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
