What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
