In America we eat man semen.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize