I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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