If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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