Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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