So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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