i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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