He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
