Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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