and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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