so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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