I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
