Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
