Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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