ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
