So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
