You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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