1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
