Don't you send me to vm
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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