I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
tell me about the fingering
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