think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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