I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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