Umm I'm too high to move.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i believe in u and ur pee
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize