This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
