that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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