just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
