she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
