Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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