i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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