hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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