I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
