My friends, they love my intelligence
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize