hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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