so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
