If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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