I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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