So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
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Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
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I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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