And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
