then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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